When I first told my sister the gospel or even talked about the Bible, she didn’t respond favorably. In fact, she was very antagonistic about it. I remember sitting in the car as she drove. I was telling her about what I was reading in the Bible, and eased my way into the gospel. But she then turned up the music, and tuned me out. If I even remember correctly, she even told me: “I don’t want to talk about your Bible right now.”
There were days when I would tell Jamen about this burden. It wasn’t because my sister rejected me every time, but it was out of distress knowing people I care about didn’t know the Lord. And admittedly, it was a frustrating time for me. But the Lord showed me that my frustration
was rooted from my lack of trust in His goodness and His sovereignty. I’m not gonna claim that I know God’s comprehensive program in my life, but from the events I have described in my first post and in this one, I could see how the Lord continues to work in this area of my life, and how He draws me closer and more dependent on Him.
I had to pull back from that frustration, and remember that it is the Lord who works in people’s hearts, who gives it life and spiritual sensitivity to understand the things of heaven, who inclines people to Himself. My frustration certainly revealed my lack of trust in God and His goodness in choosing whoever He chooses to show mercy . But it also taught me to trust Him, to remember that He is good, and to stay faithful in all I do — regardless of the earthly outcome. In other words, whether Julie got saved or not, that I would continue to be faithful in sharing the gospel to others and trust the Lord to do the rest. So what did this look like?
I prayed with earnest desire to exercise that which He has already given… which is faith and trust in Him, to not look at situations in my own understanding of things. It’s asking questions like: “Do I trust Him and His orchestration of events? Do I trust that He is good, and whatever He wills for His holy purposes is for our good and His glory?” And sometimes, I preach the gospel to myself…remembering that the same God who loves me so much to send His Son to die for me and chose to show mercy to this sinner operates in that same love in His arrangement of circumstances.
Regardless of what the outcome would be, we were to be faithful in sharing God’s truth. Like I mentioned in my first post, Jamen and I opened up our home for Bible studies to reach out to others, my sister included. We bought her her own journaling Bible to motivate her to read along. She later confessed to me that the only reason she went was to see the conspiracy in it and whether I was faking what seemed to be a changed life. But the Lord convicted her through His Word, and caused her to ponder over her sinful state before a holy God.
Later in that month, Jamen and I picked up Julie from work and talked about what we have discussed in the Bible studies. But unlike the first time I talked to her about the Bible in the car, she responded more favorably. But she struggled with questions like, “Why would God send His Son to die for me? and I am to receive Him by faith alone? I don’t even deserve it” and struggled with it for months. (click next page below)